Three specialists later and it has been confirmed that there is an actual piano inside my brain. It is a Steinway micro-grand, which is about the size of a book of matches. The micro-grand was a limited edition available in the late-60s and early-70s, and only 23 were sold to pediatricians looking for a solution to over exuberant red-headed children.

The experimental procedure was done without the parents knowledge or consent. To date, no long-term side effects (other than the ringing sounds emanating from the ears) have been recorded.

According to my father, this explains a few things. My mother was not available for official comment but unofficially she disavows any knowledge of the piano inside my brain.