Howard Yermish, human » Humor

Microsoft Songsmith – Please Make the Bad Noise Stop

Howard Yermish — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 14:07:21 +0000

Let me start by saying this: This music thankfully did not come from inside my brain. This is what happens when you put Sting through Microsoft Songsmith.

Any questions?

Yes, everyone might have a song in their heart, but let’s avoid using Songsmith to extract it. Some things are better left unsung.

Quote from Alice Kahn

Howard Yermish — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 12:30:22 +0000

“For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.”
— Alice Kahn

Quote: John Cleese

Howard Yermish — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 12:33:56 +0000

“I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.”
— John Cleese

Disco Bear

Howard Yermish — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 18:22:23 +0000

From the site BestofYouTube.com, a bear scratches its back on a tree, disco remix edition.

Found: New Airline Charges by the Pound

Howard Yermish — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 13:09:59 +0000

When opening the Philadelphia Inquirer yesterday (actually, my wife saw it, I rarely open an actual newspaper), I saw a full page advertisement for Derrie-Air. So I went to their website to learn more:

Mission Statement
Derrie-Air is the world’s first carbon-neutral luxury airline. We will offer our passengers the finest luxury experience in all the world’s skies and the freedom to enjoy it with a clear conscience.

As it turns out, they will base the rates on the weight of the passenger and baggage! Only $2.25/lb. from Philadelphia to Los Angeles!

And I was amazed by the available amenities!

What amenities will your jets offer?
First of all there will be no class distinctions inside of a Derrie-Air jet. Every passenger will be treated like royalty. Every seat will be first class. There will simply be too many extras and treats on our flights to list here, but highlights will include: gorgeous air hosts and hostesses, golden-age Rat Pack films, top-shelf vodka Martinis, on-demand video blackjack, spacious private washrooms outfitted with porcelain fixtures and gilded faucets, gourmet snacks, on-board masseuses, loofah scrubs and, of course, digital cable!

Please note that this was a joke, although there actually was a full-page ad in the Philadelphia Inquirer and there is a website, although there is a note at the bottom to let you know that it isn’t real. Quite a bit of fun though.

So what would you do if this was real? Post your comments below…

Reminder: If ever I'm the governor

Howard Yermish — Thu, 08 May 2008 23:03:39 +0000

It is news like this that really brings it home, but if you are ever elected for a position that includes a residence, you may want to read this article…

Nevada governor wants his mansion back and his wife out

I guess what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas.

Breaking News: Tchaikovsky Turns 168

Howard Yermish — Wed, 07 May 2008 22:18:31 +0000

In the news today, buried under just about every other headline you can image, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, composer of such hits as Swan Lake and The Nutcracker, celebrated his 168th birthday today. The composer could not be reached for comment.