Piano Actually Found

At a recent medical checkup, the doctor noticed sound waves coming out of my ears. He deemed this “rather odd” and ordered additional tests.

Three specialists later and it has been confirmed that there is an actual piano inside my brain. It is a Steinway micro-grand, which is about the size of a book of matches. The micro-grand was a limited edition available in the late-60s and early-70s, and only 23 were sold to pediatricians looking for a solution to over exuberant red-headed children.

The experimental procedure was done without the parents knowledge or consent. To date, no long-term side effects (other than the ringing sounds emanating from the ears) have been recorded.

According to my father, this explains a few things. My mother was not available for official comment but unofficially she disavows any knowledge of the piano inside my brain.

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